- It’s becoming abundantly clear that I’m not going to have one of those THAT GUY! moments, in which some Hollywood exec notices me working out at the gym and asks me to screen test for his next blockbuster. At least not yet. I may look into changing gyms…
- When people say that you have to pay your dues in Hollywood, it’s much more than a figurative statement. It’s unbelievable how little assistants get paid in this industry. Studios and Execs realize how coveted these roles are, so they’re able to pay food-service wages without any consequences. Unless you’re living in a 400 sq ft. studio, you almost have to get a second job to survive in this town!
- Groceries are insanely expensive here. I have set a Google alert to notify me when the price of butter drops below $5 per pound. And for the first time ever, I’ve actually started reading and collecting the coupons that print out on the bottom of my CVS receipts.
- This industry really is all about WHO you know and maintaining good relationships with everyone you meet. This makes talking about people behind their backs very challenging (but not impossible).
- Celebrity encounters can happen just about anywhere. A few weeks ago, I ran into BJ Novak (THE OFFICE) at the grocery store. I was deep into conversation on my cell phone, so the only information that had registered in my head was that someone I knew had walked into the store. Naturally, I walked over to say hello. When I got within 5 feet, it finally clicked (mostly because of the concerned expression on BJ’s face) that I knew him, but he didn’t know me. I awkwardly rerouted my cart at the last minute and hurried to the other side of the store. For any super fans looking to get on BJ’s good side, the dude definitely loves La Croix Sparkling Water!
- People in this industry love to ask what shows you watch. Always have a list ready to go, and ensure that it’s tailored to only include critical darlings – people tend to cringe when you start rattling off shows like CELEBRITY APPRENTICE and BELOW DECK. Also, never, under any circumstances, confess to disliking BREAKING BAD. Nothing shuts down a conversation faster.
- Restaurants in LA hate soda fountains. At least that’s the only conclusion that I’ve been able to draw since most of my would-be favorite spots either don’t have Diet Coke on the menu or they sell individual cans for $3.00 each. For many, this wouldn’t be a problem, but for a full-blown Diet Coke addict like me, it’s a nightmare. Instead of relying on Yelp reviews when selecting a dining location, I now call restaurants and ask about their Diet Coke situation.
- LA movie theaters take themselves way too seriously. The other day, I arrived at a movie one minute after the previews had ended, and the usher wouldn’t let me into the theater. His key argument was that I wouldn’t know where my seat was located and that I would disturb the audience while looking for it. I told him that I would have my friends (who were already in the theater) text me a diagram, but he insisted that if he let me in, he’d have to make an exception for everyone else. Keep in mind, I was the ONLY person standing there. I started to have a Britt McHenry moment, but my mom called in the nick of time and calmed me down. For the next two hours until my friends’ movie let out, I sat on the stairs five feet away from the power-tripping usher and shot him daggers while talking to my mom.
- People in LA love to hike, and they love to talk about hiking. Unfortunately, many of my out-of-town visitors don’t share the Californians’ same affinity for this pastime, so it’s frustrating when you Google “Things to do in California,” and various hiking trails occupy 50% of the results.
- Everyone out here is either in the industry or hoping to be in the industry. When people find out that I work at a lit agency, they immediately start pitching me script ideas even though I have absolutely no clout at my office. But if I ever rise to power, my hairdresser and Uber drivers can rest assured that I’ll come to them first for ideas.
- If you find an apartment that seems too good to be true, then it probably is. Before signing a lease, inquire whether or not any of the neighbors are registered sex offenders. Also, ask your friends what they know about the neighborhood. Note that certain sections of LA are very segregated and you could wind up being the only Catholic resident in a predominantly Jewish neighborhood.
- Apart from better weather, the social options in LA are not that different than the rest of the world. Growing up in Indiana, my classmates and I complained that there was never anything to do but go bowling and see movies. Since living in LA, I’ve gone bowling twice and I see at least one movie a week in the theater. One perk that I’ll hand LA is that stars often make appearances at the theater. When I saw BOYHOOD, we were treated to a Q&A with Ethan Hawke after the movie. Less impressive, when I saw THE DUFF last Friday, the film’s star, Robbie Amell, stood outside the theater posing for pictures with fans. My friends and I skipped the photo op and were grateful that the teen heartthrob’s presence had detracted from the concession stand lines.
In short, I am glad that I took this risk and feel that I’ve made tremendous progress in just one year. I’ve learned a great deal about the industry and I’m starting to finally forge my way down a career path that I hope will play to my strengths and interests. That being said, this is going to be a very long journey and I thank everyone for the support and encouragement. I often find myself exhausted and ready to throw in the towel, but it is my friends and family’s reassurance keeps me going! So THANK YOU!