At first, a two month commitment didn’t seem so bad, but after one week on the job, I quickly remembered how much I loathe this profession. Every day, I walk into work feeling like I’m headed into my least favorite class in high school…but this class lasts 9.5 hours. Keep in mind, I love my boss, my one work friend is extremely helpful, and my office is in the heart of Beverly Hills…I just find the actual day-to-day work insufferable. Accounting is simply not my thing. I can sum up my feelings about accounting with a slightly altered phrase spoken by Will & Grace’s Karen Walker: “It’s dull, it’s ugly, and it don’t make me laugh!”
To make matters worse, lame accounting humor has reentered my vernacular. The other day, when discussing a hussy who used to work at EY with me, I said to my friend, “I think she got a lot of practice with double entries back in high school” (cue the drum sting). Today I told my work friend that “like fixed assets, I’m not feeling appreciated.” No one feels more ashamed than I do that these words spew so freely from my lips. Upon my departure from EY, I had vowed to never again resort to cheesy accounting jokes. Alas, old habits die hard.
The most torturous aspect of my new job is that my office is stationed directly adjacent to the creative department of a major production company. Sadly, none of the “creatives” acknowledge my presence. My work friend informed me that the “creatives” don’t respect the business side of the company (hence my “appreciation” comment above). So, no, they never acknowledge me. Instead, they congregate outside my office to converse about scripts they are reading, current projects that are in production, and the films that are screening downstairs. I feel like Tantalus, the Greek King who was forced to stand in a pool of water beneath a fruit tree. Despite the tree’s low branches, the fruit forever eluded his grasp. Tantalus had actually stolen nectar and ambrosia from the gods, so there was just cause in punishing him. My crime was one of ignorance - I assumed that accepting an accounting position for a production company would be a gateway to the creative side of the industry. And believe me, the punishment doesn’t fit the crime!
During my lunch break today, I read an article about the harsh working conditions inflicted upon migrant workers in Qatar, causing hundreds of runaway maids to seek shelter at the embassies. These maltreatments include withholding wages, physical and sexual abuse, and the denial of food and water. So I guess others around the world can relate to what I’m going through – OK that’s clearly a joke. Obviously, people in labor camps have it slightly tougher than I do in my Beverly Hills office. That being said, if I am forced to stay in accounting after my contract expires, I will be seeking refuge at the embassy in Beverly Hills. Open the gates, Kardashians! Only 34 more days…